Are you good at apologizing? When was the last time you said, “I am sorry” to someone you hurt, either intentionally or not. As a psychotherapist, I have been witness to people treating themselves like dirt, putting everyone else first. Maybe it’s time you apologize to yourself.
Neglecting yourself, putting yourself down in your head, berating yourself, criticizing your body in the mirror, pushing you way beyond your limits- this is all self-abuse. Then you wonder why you are not happy. If someone else treated you like this you would not hang out with them!
We can’t escape ourselves but we can apologize and start over.
Writing an apology letter can be help the healing process.
When writing the letter, come from the heart and write it in the third person, as if you are speaking to yourself as another person. It might sound something like this: I’m sorry that I’ve sabotaged your success, that I’m constantly criticizing you and that I put you last.
I’m sorry that I sometimes treat you like I hate you. I’m sorry that I didn’t trust you. I’m sorry that I doubted you. I’m sorry that I told you stay in that relationship even though it was abusive. I’m sorry I put you in situations that were unsafe. I’m sorry that I didn’t give you enough sleep when you were exhausted. I’m sorry I made to hang out with people that you didn’t want to. I’m sorry that I told you that you weren’t good enough. I am sorry I skipped cheap xanax usa meals when you were hungry and pushed you to work harder in order to please others. I am sorry that I don’t stop to allow you to feel things. I am sorry that I don’t stop to allow you to enjoy moments. I am sorry that when I look at your in the mirror, I criticize how you look. I am sorry that sometimes I tell you to keep quiet when you have something to say. I am sorry that I tell you that it’s not going to work out. I am sorry that I tell you that something bad is going to happen.
Go through all the stuff that you do to yourself. Get it all out.
Then I want you to write a love letter to yourself. These are promises to yourself.
I will trust you. I will listen to you. I will nurture you. I will take care of you.
We live in our bodies. We are guaranteed to see ourselves every morning when we wake. Our body, mind and self can never leave us. Yet, why is it that we treat ourselves the worst. Wherever you go, there you are.
This exercise of writing apology letters and love letters, really allows you to step outside and see how you treat yourself.
So, write an apology letter to better understand how you treat yourself.
Then, write a love letter to make better promises to yourself.
Print the love letter and keep it as a commitment to yourself.