Do you love him or what he does for you?

In my private practice, men often tell me that they feel like their partners don’t like them for who they are, but instead like them for what they provide.

Many women are likely to go on about what he does for her, where he takes her, things he buys and other grand romantic gestures. You have to ask yourself: do you enjoy being with him because of who he is as a person or because of what he does for you?

An easy way to understand your relationship is to ask yourself what you love about him. If the list consists of everything he’s done for you but lacks points regarding what makes him special and unique, you may want to ask yourself the hard question: If he was to stop focusing on pleasing you, would you stick around?

The spark in the relationship could change once the relationship stops being all about you. When the relationship is no longer all about you, you may lose interest.

Those who are willing to start a life with someone based solely on the reason that “he’s amazing to me,” may be in for a rude awakening. What if he stops being amazing to you? Does that make him less desirable? These are some hard questions, but important ones. Yes it is incredibly important to have someone treat you well, but we want to make sure that you are not in it just for that.

Keep in mind that it is common for partners to become less thoughtful once they are comfortable in a relationship.

You can improve your relationship by being grateful for and accepting him as a person and not just focusing on all the ways he makes you happy.