Ever wish you had more information when you saw someone cry?
I recently heard at a seminar that when we cry, where our tears fall from our eyes can tell us a lot about how we are feeling.
Apparently, if the tears fall from the middle of our eyes, we are feeling anger. If they fall from the left side of our eyes, we are feeling grief and sadness. If they fall from the right side of our eyes, we are feeling relief.
This can be helpful during an argument with your partner when they have difficulty expressing how they feel. You can always ask them, are you angry? Based on this theory, people are not always sad when they are crying.
During couple counselling, many of my clients cry or tears well up in their eyes due to anger rather than sadness. On the other hand, I often see ‘relief tears’ when I lead people through a visualization to heal past trauma. We go back into the traumatic memory, like an assault, for example. The person will imagine it and act in a way they wished they could have at the time of the assault. In the visualization, they do what they never got to do in the moment, such as run away or defend themselves. This can help reprogram the brain by changing the neuro pathways associated with the trauma. Almost always, after the exercise my clients will cry tears of relief.
When someone is upset and crying in front of you, pay attention to how they are feeling especially if they are not talking to you. According to the tears-theory, if you pay attention to where and how their tears are falling, it will tell you a lot about how they are feeling. Test this theory and let me know how it goes!